Picture Time!

I know, every good blog needs pictures. Unfortunately, as is the case with most people my size, pictures are pretty hard to come by. Oh sure... there are plenty of photos with my hand covering my face, me turned away, or me hiding behind someone (what do you mean, I was in the picture... see, that's my hair!)

I suppose it would be good to document the before. My whole life has been a before picture. I'd like to finally be an after. Or even a during.

Here's me at my high school graduation. Yikes. That's painful to look at! I weighed 299lbs when I graduated high school. That was horrifying to me. My doctor referred me to a nutritionist to work with in preparation of going away to college and being on my own for the 1st time. That was in 1994. I still see her.


Thanks to an expansive campus, marching band and bulimia I left college at my lowest adult weight of approx 220lbs. This is a picture of me at a friend's wedding in Vegas in 1999. (I'm in the blue on the far left)
I distinctly remember feeling so hideous that day. I look at this picture now and would give anything to be that hideous again.


Here's me on my wedding day.
This was in 2005 (and also in Vegas in case the Elvis impersonator didn't give that away). This is not my highest weight. I weighed in at 319lbs not too long after the wedding. Wow... 100 lbs gained since I got out of school.

I just noticed that the bride and groom from the previous picture are behind my shoulder in my wedding photo! We both got married in Vegas. They did not have Elvis.

Anyway, since then I've gone down and up and up and down. And up. At my 1st meeting with the surgeon I weighed in at 326lbs. Not my highest (which was in the 330's) but pretty darn close.

And that's why I'm working for the Lap-Band. I've spent my entire life heavy. I've tried everything imaginable. Every diet in my mother's women's magazines... Weight Watchers (went to my first meeting with my mother when I was in 6th grade)... Working with a medical team.... Diet pills... Bulimia... Becoming a gym rat and working with a personal trainer. Nothing was long lasting. Is this my last chance? Or am I just not trying as hard as I think I am?

So far...

Well, in case somewhere down the road someone is searching for information about the process for lap-band surgery, I'm going to talk about my experiences so far.

I am fortunate enough to live near Boston which is home to some of the best hospitals in the world. I had a lot of choices. My PCP's practice is affiliated with Brigham & Women's Hospital so I was referred there initially. I looked into some other places as well, but eventually ended up back at BWH.

The first thing I did was attend the informational seminar. That was not what I expected. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I walked out of there with more information than I thought I'd have. They not only went over the actual procedures offered, but went into a lot of detail in terms of nutritional support and insurance requirements.

The next day, before I lost my nerve, I called the surgeon's office to make an appointment for a consult. The soonest they could book me for that was 2 months out. That gave me plenty of time to think, plan, and read so many wonderful blogs!

When the time came for the surgical consult I met with the surgeon's PA for a thorough history and brief exam. (Nothing "shave worthy".) Then I met with the surgeon. He went over some of the expectations they have for patients. He went over my reasons for wanting to have the procedure, what my expectations were and what his concerns were. Then he told me that his assistant would be in touch in the next few days to set up follow-up appointments.

Two days later I got a call from the sweetest girl ever to set up appointments with the program dietitian, for an upper GI and the psych evaluation. Luckily those could all be scheduled on the same day a week later. That meant only 1 day out of work.

The meeting with the dietitian went well. I've been under the supervision of a nutritionist for years so I was mostly prepared for things she had to say. But she did go over the pre-op and post-op diets with me. And offered suggestions to work around my food preferences.

Then it was off to have the upper GI. More uncomfortable than anything else. I certainly wouldn't want to do it again! But, fortunately, no issues with my esophagus or stomach.

Finally, the psych evaluation. That was the one I'd been dreading. I wasn't sure I'd get a green light. I was very up front with all of the doctors from the beginning. I have a history with depression (including attempted suicide) and bulimia. I have been stable for many years, I am in treatment for it, but I didn't try to hide any of these facts. The doctor doing my psych eval told me that he just wanted to talk to my own therapist and as long as she thought I was ok to do this, he would sign off on it. He told me that my history put me in a "higher risk category", but that this was probably my best chance.

Now that that's all done, I have a follow up with the surgeon scheduled in 4 weeks. He expects some weight loss by then. He wanted me to lose 10% of my body weight pre-operatively. He doesn't expect me to lose it all by the next time he sees me, but he expects some progress. I'm ok with that.

I don't think insurance approval will be an issue. I've checked with my provider and they do cover lap-band with medical necessity. With a BMI of 49, sleep apnea, high cholesterol and PCOS, I think the medical necessity is there. My PCP is 100% on board.

For now I'm just working on losing some weight before my next appt. I'm trying to prepare myself for life post-band. I'm working on slowing down my eating, chewing better, taking smaller bites and I'm in the market for a liquid vitamin or chewable that isn't the consistency of the Flintstones chewables.

If anyone reads this and has suggestions, I'd love to know what vitamins other people take. Also what protein drinks people use and like. I'm not a big milk drinker so I know I'm going to have a problem in that area. My surgeon requires a 2 week pre-op diet that is 2 liquid meals and 1 small "normal" meal. Then the standard clear liquid to full liquid to mushies progression post-op.

An experiment...

Confession: this is my very first blog post EVER.

I hope to use this blog as an outlet, a way to get support and to keep me focused as I embark on what I hope is my final attempt to lose weight. I'm in the process now of completing insurance and surgeon requirements to have Lap-Band surgery.

I know the research, the studies and I've seen the statistics. They've drilled it into my head that the average weight loss for Lap-Band patients is 40-50% of their excess weight. Less than half of what I need to lose? Hmmm... That's still pretty good, though, since I might lose -10% without this. But is that the best I can do? I've read a lot of blogs written by Bandsters and for the most part, everyone is doing quite well. That got me thinking... are only the successful people blogging, or does blogging help with success?

I'm going with the hypothesis that blogging contributes to success!