Tomorrow!

I'm nervous and excited. I just confirmed my surgery and reporting time with the hospital. I'm on the schedule for 9:30am which means I have to arrive at 7:30. That's nothing for me since I usually start work around 6:30, but the husband is going to have a little difficulty with this one.

Friday I had my pre-op appt. Just some paperwork, some labs, a physical exam and a bunch of questions. (Mostly theirs)

Yesterday I had my final appt with my surgeon. I'm down 20 lbs since I first met with him in June. Not quite the 32 he set as my goal for pre-operative weight loss. Perhaps he's cutting me slack since they bumped me up 6 weeks, or perhaps the goal was lofty to begin with. I don't care 20 lbs is 20 lbs. He told me I had done great. I told him to rest up Tuesday night.

I did okay with the pre-operative diet. Of course, I only did it for a week. (My surgeon normally requires 2 weeks, but as you know, they only told me last week of the new date). I only felt really hungry/deprived one day this week. Last night I really really wanted pizza, but told myself to stick it out. Yay for me. Hopefully that mindset sticks for the next 4 weeks while I make the progression back to "real" solid food.

I've done all the research I could. I think I'm ready. But I have Ativan at the ready in case I start to freak out. I'm not overly nervous about the procedure itself. I'm actually most anxious about the fact that I'm going to be pretty nekkid for most of tomorrow. But if that's the worse thing that can happen, I suppose I'm doing ok.

Now that I've left you with that visual.... Wish me luck for tomorrow! I'll update when I'm on the other side!

Surprise!

Hopefully I can type this out because, I kid you not, my hands are shaking.

I just got a phone call from my surgeon's office. It seems that they had an opening in the OR schedule and asked if I wouldn't mind bumping up my date. Ok. Yeah... next week. As in Sept 29th. 7 days from today. I said, "OK, but I haven't done the pre-op diet or anything." She said, "Oh just do that for 2 days prior." So the 2 week thing they normally make people do is for naught? I'm going to do the standard pre-op for the remainder of the time at least because I want to do everything I can to shrink that liver and keep this laparoscopic!

Anyway, so that means I have 7 weeks worth of prep to do in 3 days at work. My boss is being super supportive about this sudden change. (He knows I'm having surgery and had planned to take 2 weeks off from work - he does not know what kind of surgery). But that just makes me feel guilty because I am taking the most inopportune time off. And I'm doing it with very little notice. I work in the financial industry and not only is it a monthly close, but a quarterly close as well. This is the first time in 12 years of working there that I have put my own schedule ahead of the company's.

So, I have a regularly scheduled appt with the surgeon on Monday. That will be my final pre-op appt with him. They're trying to get me an appt with the anesthesiologist for this week. Then next Wednesday I'm getting banded! Yikes!

The good news is that this shortened prep time gives me less time to second guess myself and overthink things.

Okay. I'm slightly calmer.

I want to wish everyone going to the BOOBS extravaganza this weekend a fun and safe trip. I can't wait to hear all the reports. I think this is an amazing event and hope to be part of the next one!

Some People!

First of all, thanks to Grace & Nicole for nominating me for awards this past week. I will get on that... I'm just happy people are reading my random ramblings. The information and advice I am getting on here is invaluable! Thank you, all.

I have a rambling today that isn't directly band-related, but it's upsetting me to the point where I'm making bad food decisions so maybe I should blog it out.

I was at my mother's house yesterday for a Pampered Chef show. The funny thing is, I don't cook. I can cook. Well, I can follow a recipe and prepare a meal that won't necessarily kill anyone. But, as a rule, I don't cook. However, I own just about every item in the catalog! Go figure.

Anyway, I had done pretty well at the show food-wise. Ate mostly shrimp, and only tasted small portions of the dishes prepared at the demonstration. I drank only water even though I really wanted the beer too. When the show was over it was just a few ladies (my mom's friends) hanging around chatting.

One lady from my mom's church started telling this story about a house they looked at and how oddly shaped and small the bathroom was. To illustrate her point she said, looking at me, "no offense to you, but you probably would not have been able to fit in there." Really? How could I take offense to that, right? I ignored it and let her carry on with her story. Because that's what I do. I just thought about it constantly. So that's when I started in on the chips and dip (my arch-nemesis), the brownies and an entire pizza when I got home. I hate myself a little right now. Esepcially since that one escapade pretty much erased the progress I had made on the scale the past 2 weeks. And I have a weight check with my surgeon in a little over a week.

So, I'm mad at that woman for having the audacity to say something like that IN FRONT OF ME. I don't doubt for a second that people talk smack about me. But, we kind of got the point of how small this bathroom was without you comparing me to the size of a room. And I'm mad at myself for letting that comment send me on a feeding frenzy.

Why are people so clueless? And why am I so sensitive?

Thanks for letting me vent. Today is a new day. I'm trying to build a bridge and get over it. I skipped my family breakfast this morning. I have a day of healthy meals planned. I'm going to yet another home sales party tonight dealing with food. But I'm pretty confident I can get in and get out without major diet destruction. (It's at my boss's house so I can't really skip it. But I can bow out early.) Perhaps I just need to avoid the scale and mirrors for a while to keep my mind off of it.

I hope everyone else is having a great weekend!

A final shout-out to Nicole at A Little Bit Less of Me who is getting banded tomorrow! So exciting!

Plan for Success

Now that I have a date and this is looking like it's going to happen... Rather than worry that I'm setting myself up for failure, I've decided that I need to actually plan to succeed. I know that no one actually sets out to be unsuccessful, but I'm sure I'm not alone when I admit that there have been times when I'd just half-ass things and hope for the best.

Way back when I first started reading all the wonderful band blogs, I came across this post from Catherine at Chronicles from Bandland. I've taken some time to actually document a few concrete plans and commitments that I think will be necessary to succeed at this.

Journal/Plan. I know that I do better when I write it down. I will commit to being better about making a menu, which leads to a grocery list and then track my meals afterward. I will not be so hung up on how I do that. Some weeks I might track on my iPhone, some weeks I might do it on paper. I think the important thing is to just do it. I've always been the most successful when I track.

Exercise. Not only is weight loss going to be more difficult without exercise, I am surely going to be left with significant sagging unless I build muscle and tone up along the way. I will commit to hitting the gym 4 days a week and strive to take a class. I'm actually okay about exercise now. I do go 2-3 days a week as it is. But I'm committing to doing it more and making it a priority. Hopefully once my husband is once again among the gainfully employed, I can loosen the budget up a bit to go back to a trainer.

Set up a Reward System. Let's face it, I'm materialistic. And I need prizes. I don't know what I will do to reward myself along the way, but I will figure something out.

Make use of Resources. I have a lot of support. I just tend to not take full advantage. My PCP, therapist, nutritionist, everyone from my surgeon's office, this blog... I know they are there to help me. I will take advantage of it and try not to feel super needy and pathetic in doing so.

Enjoy Life. Part of why I am doing this is to feel better about myself. My weight has held me back and kept me from doing a lot and from enjoying a lot. I will remember to get back in there as I progress. One particular thing that I've been avoiding is marching band. I was in marching band in high school and college. I loved it. I miss it. There are community bands in the area I could join, but I haven't done it because of the humiliation I know I'd face from not having a uniform to fit me. As I lose weight and get down to a "normal" size, I will join a marching band again.

I welcome suggestions and I will surely update this as I get closer and make some more definite goals.